30 years & still gay

We're now almost a month after the 30th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots, that infamous day when the most bullied segment of society rose up & stuck his boot stiletto stiletto boot up the ass of "The Man." A few days ago, I listened to a podcast featuring two gay rights leaders. They recounted the events & how the gay ____ movement (will explain the blank in a moment) has changed over the years. This tied into another article I read that day on the Huffington Post titled, "In Defense of Bruno"; all of this got me thinking about the gay ____ movement & where it is going.

Why the gay ____ movement? That's because it depends on who you ask. The leaders from the 60's referred to the gay liberation movement while we in the new millennium are quite engrossed in the gay rights movement. A subtle, but important difference.

The two gentlemen (can't find their names for the life of me) talked of a revolution where glitter & boas were the slogan of choice. Nowadays, the flamboyant Brüno's of the world are shunned by uncomfortable straights as well as ashamed gays. We are no longer looking to "liberate" ourselves, per se, but rather we are looking to show that, despite a long history of ostracization, limp wrists, & show-tunes, we can be just as bland as the next hetero couple. The movement once asked society at large to accept us with all of our differences. In many ways, it now asks society to overlook them.

As Bill Maher said – & (shame on me) I haven't looked up statistics on this – the gay rights movement picked up speed when folks realized they weren't stopping that guy in the ass-less chaps from marrying the bear with the whip & nipple piercing. They were really impeding Aunt Sheryl & her friend Marsha with the short haircut who keeps coming to Christmas... & considering they've been coming to Christmas longer than Daddy, it seemed more than unfair. So perhaps the de-glamorizing of the entire affair has done us some good... at least in the rights talk.

But did we lose something when we made the shift? Depends on your perspective. This is more a difference between loud & soft than gay & straight. I heard a gay man decry the acceptance of gay marriage because it would mean that the gay community would lose part of its distinctiveness. While I'm certainly a fan of diversity as a means of promoting progress through the intersection of different lifestyles & ideas, I wonder if we don't defeat the purpose by stewing in our difference & clinging to it, even if it means losing touch with the individual. The gay community can be just as oppressive as the mainstream society that fostered its growth.

Gays as well as straights are coming to terms with an important fact. Being gay, for many people, does involve a level of noise, flamboyance, & broadcasting (unintentional or otherwise). But for many others it really is nothing but a sexual preference. Not a community identity, not a fashion statement or a certain taste in music -- just who you want in your bed. To maintain this wholly as a liberation movement would be to ignore or suppress an entire segment of the gay population who, quite frankly, would like to go quietly about their day. Hockey players (not unlike the glittery Brüno) are gay, too. Radiyamomohu anhuma. [MdG]